The Libido Revelation
by The Frisky Firelily
Summary: Whilst sneaking into the boys apartment one night Penny makes an interesting discovery. Rating increased for smut.
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N: **Ok this is my first foray into a new fandom, so I really hope I do alright. People writing TBBT fanfic are so talented! Fingers crossed :)

Penny couldn't sleep. The middle of a heatwave in Pasedena wasn't exactly comfortable sleeping weather for anybody. And it really didn't help that her air conditioner wasn't working. Ok, if she was completely honest, it was working just fine. But not paying your electricity bill tended to have the uncomfortable side effect of no electricity.

She huffed. Her hair was sticking to the back of her neck, and even sleeping completely naked wasn't helping her situation. She'd abandoned her stifling bedroom in favour of the barely cooler living room in an attempt to get some shut eye before her early morning shift.

The couch fibres were damp with sweat. She'd already taken the frozen peas out of her freezer to rest on her head, and the frozen carrots weren't nestled under her knees. It wasn't helping, both were now fully defrosted, the ice heating to liquid and just adding to her discomfort.

She stood in the darkened room, looking for her torch. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep, not in her apartment that currently felt like a sauna. She raised an eyebrow as a thought crossed her mind. Of course, the boys kept their apartment at a delightfully cool 71 degrees. And it was past one in the morning. And they would both be asleep.

And her shift started at six, so she'd be out before they woke up.

A smirk crossed her face. If she got caught she'd be banished for sure. She quickly grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top, just in case she got unlucky and was discovered.

She cracked the door to her apartment open, sneaking across the hallway, using her emergency key to their front door. She knew Sheldon was the lightest sleeper she'd ever met, so she kept her feet bare and moved quietly as she entered.

The blast of the air con was the most beautiful thing she had felt in a long time. The sweat that had been dripping from her face dried in the wake of the icy breeze, which ruffled her sticky hair and sent a shiver down her spine.

Ah, bliss.

She laid out the thin blanket she had brought along the length of the couch. Sheldon's sense of smell was rivalled only by his hearing, and she didn't want to leave the lingering scent of sweat on his precious spot.

She stretched out, relieved when the couch didn't make a squeaking sound, and closed her eyes. She had been there for only a few minutes, about to drift into peaceful slumber, when she heard the door open. Maybe if she stayed very still and kept her eyes closed whoever it was wouldn't hear her.

Besides, it was past one, who the hell was coming in?

She opened her eyes, praying she didn't see an unfamiliar face, possibly covered by ski mask. She saw the outline of a tall, slim figure, and stifled a noise of surprise as Sheldon entered the apartment. He was wearing the suit she had talked him into buying so long ago and he was obviously in a hurry to get to his bedroom, crossing the room without a single glance around.

A whiff of scent hit Penny's nose, and she scrunched up her face, trying to place it. It smelled like…perfume. Something cheap and sickly sweet.

When she was alone once more she released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, trying to figure out what was going on.

Why the hell was Dr Whack-a-Doodle coming home so late on a work night reeking of cheap perfume?

She ignored the little voice that told her exactly what she would expect a normal man to be doing so late at night smelling like that. She also ignored the twinge of jealousy.

Not matter, it wasn't her business.

She allowed herself to drift back to sleep, sneaking out the next morning before the boys woke up.

She was unaware that while she slept a small frown was crossing her face.

**A/N: **Ok, how're we travelling? Not sure how long this will be but the ideas been bouncing around for a while, so I guess we'll see :) Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N: **Glad to see people are enjoying this – always scary to foray into brave new worlds :)

* * *

Penny thought about just asking him. After all, it was strange behaviour, even for Sheldon. It wouldn't hurt to find out exactly where he'd been so late at night. It wasn't like she was jealous. Far from it. Just curious – the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper officially had no deal. So why was he disappearing at night and sneaking back smelling like perfume?

Nope, definitely not jealous.

She thought about asking Amy Farrah-Fowler. After all, Amy was Sheldon's 'friend', and 'friends' told each other things, right? But the last time she'd seen Amy she had gotten the distinct feeling the woman didn't like her. Probably something to do with the calm calculation of all Penny's sex partners. Ok, maybe Penny was the one with the problem.

She'd caught him a few nights later and then again after that, lying awake and listening carefully for the sound of their apartment door opening. Inevitably he would always be home by one thirty, and Penny wondered exactly what was going on.

Still, Penny reasoned that it really was none of her business. She would have to admit what she was doing in the apartment if she wanted to ask him, and there was no way in hell she'd be doing that. So she left it, and after a few days it seemed to slowly float to the back of her mind.

She was perched on the couch, munching down her Thai while the boys argued loudly about Star Trek and Star Wars. Sheldon was suspiciously quiet as they expounded the virtues of hyper-space versus the mechanics of the millennium falcon. Penny personally thought the Enterprise kicked the Falcon's ass, but she kept that to herself.

Largely because she couldn't believe she actually had an opinion on the subject.

Still, Sheldon remained silent, picking through his Tangerine Chicken with a concerned expression on his face. Penny rested one hand on his knee to get his attention, trying to ignore how warm he felt through his pants.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Sheldon looked to her hand, and she thought she saw his eyebrow twitch, before he met her face. His dark blue eyes looked darkly troubled, but he gave her a head tilt. "Why would something be wrong?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, cuz you haven't bothered interjecting in the little debate your friends are having?" Sheldon shook his head. "Well it's obviously the Enterprise." Penny thought the Southern twang that still coloured his accent seemed slightly stronger tonight, but chose not to comment.

She finished her meal in silence before interrupting the argument. She pulled a piece of paper from her back pocket, handing it over to Sheldon. He took it, looking at her curiously.

Her smile was mischevious. "That is a copy of a contract I drew up this afternoon. I haven't been able to pay my electric bill and it's too damn hot to sleep in my apartment. So I request the use of your couch for a little while."

She knew Leonard wouldn't have a problem. He'd called Stephanie a few weeks ago, and the two of them were getting along famously. Apparently the time apart had done them worlds of good, and Penny was relieved that her friendship with Leonard had survived the breakup. It had been hard, but it was worth it to see him happy and really know she was happy for him. Plus Stephanie was great at dealing with Sheldon, and she'd even asked Penny out for coffee a few days ago.

In fact, if Penny was completely honest she'd actually come up with this plan alongside Stephanie. Once the doctor had realised that Leonard and Penny really didn't have any residual feelings she'd opened herself up to a new friendship. One that included no small amount of gossip about Dr Whack-a-Doodle and his night time wanderings.

She held up her hand as Leonard went to agree and Sheldon went to argue vociferously. "I know, I know, but if you'll read the contract I think you'll find this is a win-win. It would only be for a couple of weeks. I'll not only promise to be gone before you guys wake up, and leave everything in perfect order, but I'll also promise a few other things."

She gestured to the paper, quoting from memory. "Complete adhesion to any and all of Sheldon's rules without question, a promise to make fresh tea and coffee every morning, and three home cooked meals, subject to Sheldon's scrutiny."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes as he leafed through the contract. He reached the back page and Penny stifled a smirk as his eyes rose up to meet hers.

His voice was very, very calm. "Penny, this is a letter from my mother." Penny nodded as Leonard, Raj and Howard all began to snicker. "Penny, this states that if I don't let you stay for a while she'll tell my Meemaw that I was being ungentlemanly."

Penny nodded. "Her idea, not mine. Look, I won't be able to afford my rent if I pay my electricity bill, and I can't work properly without proper REM sleep." She smirked as Sheldon's eyebrow raised.

"Additionally, I promise to only stay two weeks." A light bulb went off in Sheldon's head. "What if I just gave you the money to pay your bill?" Penny shook her head. "I can't do that again – I won't be able to pay you back for ages, and I just can't have that hanging over my head. Please Sheldon?"

Raj, Howard and Leonard were all silent. Penny had thought this out, no doubt, and Leonard was perfectly happy for her to stay, but they knew she needed to win over the head Whacko of the house. Sheldon seemed to struggle with himself for a moment before snorting in derision. "Fine, you can stay."

Penny grinned. Thank god. If she had to keep sleeping in that apartment she was going to go berserk.

And if it meant she could find out just what Sheldon was doing at night, all the better.


	3. Chapter 3

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N:** So I'm the first to admit that Sheldon would be a little OOC in this. But like I've said, the idea has been bouncing around, and who am I to deny the plot bunnies? Hope you're all still on board.

* * *

Penny knew she was behaving herself. She'd been a model houseguest – always gone before they woke up, always leaving things in perfect working order, always making sure Sheldon's tea was brewed just right in the morning.

She'd even allowed him to hover over her shoulder without comment as she made his mother's peach cobbler. Mary Cooper had been all too happy to reveal the recipe when Penny asked, and she'd even added a few other dishes to butter Sheldon up if he started getting cranky. All in all she had done nothing to breach their contract in any way, shape or form.

Leonard would smirk as Sheldon scrutinized Penny's behaviour. She never pried, never pushed or prodded, just came in right at bedtime and then disappeared by morning. When Leonard had told Stephanie that Penny would be sleeping on their couch the doctor was surprisingly nonchalant. She'd even reminded him to stock extra toilet paper for his guest.

Weird.

Strangely though there'd been no need for buttering up or placating. Sheldon was behaving himself. Though Penny's presence was obviously a break in his routine, no matter how discreet she was, the physicist was in an abnormally good mood. Not so much happy just…calmer. Since Penny had seen him slipping away in the middle of the night she was fairly sure that wherever he was going had something to do with his wanderings.

It was driving her crazy!

She was currently sitting on the couch with Stephanie, waiting for Sheldon and Leonard to get home. They had watched the Firefly box set left on the coffee table, and were enjoying a chat about Stephanie's latest emergency room ordeals. Penny was surprised at how much she enjoyed Stephanie's company – the doctor may be another smarty pants, but she was also a girl, and much more connected to the real world than the boys were. Plus her ER stories were hilarious.

The doctor gave her a grin as Penny kept glancing anxiously at the door. "So, still no idea where he's going to late at night?"

Penny shook her head. "Nope, the mystery remains." Stephanie's eyes narrowed. "Any particular reason you're so interested? Maybe…jealousy?"

Penny scoffed, ignoring the twinge of acknowledgement in her chest. "As if! I just want to know where he's headed. He's such a stickler for routine – it's weird that he'd break."

A knock sounded softly on the door and Penny jumped as Bernadette turned the handle, entering the living room with a shy smile. "Howard said the boys were playing Halo tonight, I thought I'd come by and watch."

They smiled at her in welcome and moved aside so she could sit on the couch. The more she got to know her the more Penny liked Bernadette. She might be another smarty pants but her effect on Howard was not to be sniffed at. Plus she was a total sweetheart. Penny found she really liked it when the boys had someone making them happy. She wondered if there was a way to find a girl for Raj...maybe someone deaf?

As they moved down the couch Penny fought the urge to jump out of Sheldon's spot, before a smirk crossed her face. She dug her buttocks into the leather of the cushion, enjoying the idea of annoying him.

Stephanie was giving her a thoughtful look, before turning to Bernadette. "So, how do you feel about stakeouts?"

* * *

This was a bad idea. Penny was sure of it. But somehow she just couldn't resist Stephanie's plan. After all it had sounded so rational and easy when the doctor had discussed it. Even Bernadette thought it was simple enough. They'd watched the boys play Halo, Penny joining in as the other two girls cheered, before retiring for the night. When Howard went to make a lacivious comment about sleep overs Bernadette had shot him a look that silenced him immediately. Raj had almost fallen off his chair in silent laughter.

The three girls would stay at Penny's that night, wait til Sheldon disappeared, then follow him. Nothing complicated, no dark trench coats, just a brief outing to see exactly where the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper took him late at night.

Except now that the three of them were sitting in Penny's car outside of a club things seemed a little strange. Sheldon hated loud noises. And strangers. And drinking. And being touched.

So why the hell would he be in a club?

He'd strolled in wearing that black suit Penny had forced him to buy, and all three women had noticed a few changes. He hadn't shaved, for one, leaving light stubble decorating his chin and cheeks. His hair wasn't its usual perfectly combed self, looking spiky and messy, like he'd just run his hands through it. Even his walk was a little different – he was definitely holding himself straighter, rather than the usual hunch he seemed to affect around the boys. His long, ground eating strides drew attention to the lanky frame. Penny thought it might have something to do with the fact that he was at least a foot taller than any of his friends, so normally had to take shorter steps, but it was still strange to see him striding to the door, hands in his pants pockets, nodding his head as the bouncer let him through straight away.

Penny in no way found the new look hot.

Nope.

No way.

Bernadette's voice was a stage whisper. "What's happened to Sheldon?" Stephanie shook her head, her eyes wide with shock as their neurotic physicist disappeared into the noisy club. "Beats me – tonight when Penny beat him at Halo he looked like his was trying to kill her with his brain. Now he's gone all 007 on us."

Penny nodded, still not quite able to form words.

Bernadette sounded hesitant from the back seat. "So…how long should we wait?" It was a Friday night, none of them had work the next day, so it wasn't like they had anywhere to be. Still, sitting in a car across the street from a club seemed so…seedy.

Penny stifled a giggle at that thought.

She cleared her throat. "I don't know…maybe we should just head home?" Stephanie looked back to Bernadette, who gave a slight shake of her head, which Penny didn't notice. The doctor looked back. "No, let's just stay here a little while longer."

Forty five minutes of car games and chatting about work later they saw Sheldon stepping out of the club. He wasn't alone. The girl was tall and blonde, dressed in hot pink and sky scraper heels, grinning and giggling at something he was saying. She was hanging off his arm, and Penny's eyes went wide when he didn't try to shake her off. In fact he seemed perfectly comfortable with her actions as she pawed at him.

He flashed her a smile. It was one Penny had never seen before. It was easy, lazy, the kind of slow grin that showed more teeth than normal. It didn't quite meet his eyes. Penny felt an uncomfortable heat between her legs as he leant down to whisper something in the girl's ear, and whatever it was made her raise an eyebrow and nod.

He turned them down a nearby alley, and they disappeared from sight.

Penny, Stephanie and Bernadette all looked at each other, trying to form words. Bernadette regained her voice fastest. "Um, what was that? I thought Sheldon hated being touched. And didn't you say he doesn't really have a deal?"

Stephanie nodded. "I've seen him throw out food that somebody else has touched. What do you think they're doing? Is he…is Sheldon having a one night stand?" Penny was struggling to breath and she had no idea why. She fought back the pricking of tears in her eyes, refusing to allow any of the emotion she was feeling to come out in her voice.

She took a breath. "Ok, maybe if this was a normal guy, we'd think he was having a quick fuck in an alley. But come on guys! This is Sheldon we're talking about. Sheldon 'if you use my toothbrush I'll jump out the window' Cooper!"

Stephanie watched Penny trying to calm herself down, trying to convince herself of what she was saying. About fifteen minutes had passed in silence before Stephanie opened her mouth to reply, only to be stopped when a movement caught her eye.

Sheldon, his pants hastily buckled, his shirt twisted and his hair even messier than before, stumbled out of the alley. The girl came after him, straightening out her dress, looking dazed and shaky, as if her legs weren't quite working properly. The three spies watched as he mumbled something to her, receiving a smile and a nod for a reply, then the two of them walked away in separate directions.

The girl stopped a little ways down the street, turning back to Sheldon's retreating form. She still had that glazed, blissful look in her eyes that made Penny cringe. After a few moments she turned back and went into the club they had exited.

Nobody said a word on the drive home. They waited outside the building to make sure Sheldon was back up in his own apartment. When they snuck back up the stairs Penny could hear the pipes working next door, indicating a running shower. _Well, _she thought, _at least that's not a surprise._

As they walked back into the apartment Stephanie finally broke the silence. "Ok, so what exactly do we think we saw tonight?"

Bernadette sounded matter of fact as she answered. "We think we saw Sheldon walk into a strange alley with a strange girl. For all intents and purposes it looked like a quickie."

Stephanie nodded, watching Penny carefully. She hadn't said a word yet, but her face was clouded with something. The doctor tilted her head. "Maybe he's conducting an experiment? Or wanted to ask the girl some questions in private?"

Penny let out a dark chuckle. "Occam's Razor." She winced as she remembered Sheldon explaining the term to her in reference to why it was likely that she was the milk thief. "The simplest answer is usually the right one."

Stephanie felt her heart break a little at the sadness in Penny's voice. The girl obviously had no idea she was head over heels for Dr Cooper. And this wasn't exactly what Stephanie had been hoping to find. She'd been hoping their little excursion would reveal something amusing or ridiculous, hoped that it would make Penny see what she really wanted.

She looked over to Bernadette, who was also watching Penny's heart break. Stephanie's voice was careful. "Well, there's only one person in the world who we can ask about Sheldon's quirks without risking exposure."

The other two women looked at her expectantly, and a wry smile crossed Stephanie's face.

"My boyfriend."


	4. Chapter 4

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N:** A big shout out to **bob0045** for leaving such quick and lovely reviews to so many of my stories. Also cheers to **Lyaksandra **(I hurried up!), **Tempestjo **(your stuff actually is what made me want to try TBBT fanfic), **DaniWilder** (awesome name), and **stock2007 **(love your work). Thanks to everybody reviewing!

* * *

Something tickled his cheek, jerking him awake. Leonard twitched, slowly opening his eyes and glancing at the clock on his bedside table. 0200 blinked back at him, and he groaned. He rolled over, only to find himself staring into the eyes of not one, not two, but three women.

"Gah!"

Stephanie stepped forward, placing a hand over his mouth. "Shhh, don't wanna wake your roommate."

Leonard nodded, completely dumbfounded as to what was going on. Stephanie lowered her hand and gestured for Leonard to follow her. He wrapped his robe around himself, groggily walking behind his three night watchers, through the hallway and into Penny's apartment.

He groaned as he entered. The heat really was stifling, no wonder she wanted to use their couch. Stephanie guided him over to the chair and gently pushed him down. Now he was staring up into the faces of three confused looking women.

"Sooo…what's going on?"

Stephanie sat down next to him. "Well honey, we're wondering about Sheldon." Leonard tried not to look guilty. "The dirty sock was Raj's idea – I didn't know he'd left it in the apartment!"

Bernadette shook her head. "No Leonard, not that. You see, we noticed him doing something strange. He slipped out at around midnight tonight. We were wondering if you knew anything about that."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "No?" Penny, who had been leaning on the far wall, now moved in front of him, perching on the coffee table. "What do you know, Leonard?"

He sighed. "I'm contractually obligated by the roommate agreement to refuse to reveal any of these details under pain of banishment." Stephanie gave him a quick smile. "Oh honey, surely you can claim duress. I mean, we dragged you out of bed, you were half asleep, we threatened you with harm. Isn't there a clause that allows for such circumstances?"

Leonard nodded. It wasn't like he hadn't been dying to share this information for years, it was just that deep down, he valued Sheldon's friendship. Still, if he were under duress. "I suppose I'd be forgiven if it was established that I'd been forced to tell you guys. Maybe a bruise?"

Penny grinned wickedly, drawing her arm back. Bernadette caught her hand before she could deliver a blow. "Maybe I should do it; I've seen you punch before. We want him bruised, not knocked out." Penny sighed but relented. So much for that idea.

Bernadette smiled sweetly before flicking her fist out. Leonard winced as it hit his cheekbone, but Stephanie actually sounded impressed. "Perfect – big bruise, little pain. Very nice."

Leonard took the ice pack his girlfriend had handed him, trying not to sound too grumpy as he held it to his cheek. "Remember when you asked me once if Sheldon had a deal?" Penny nodded slowly. She remembered theories such as mitosis and sock puppets.

Leonard continued at her nod. "Well, I lied. He does most definitely have a deal. Only thing is, _homo novus_ doesn't really like the idea of people finding out about his baser biological instincts having any kind of hold on him. He had to tell me, I caught him one night, but like I said, he added the addendum prohibiting my mentioning it almost immediately afterwards."

Stephanie narrowed her eyes. "So where exactly does he go?" Leonard shrugged. "Out, about, honestly I don't really know. Every couple of weeks he starts getting twitchier and more neurotic than usual. Around then he'll start sneaking out a couple of times and then calm down. He started maybe two weeks ago, but he usually doesn't keep it up this long. I think something may have set him off."

Penny was always surprised at how well Leonard could speak when he wasn't feeling awkward. He actually seemed to be relieved to get this off his chest. She thought back to two weeks ago. There'd been an incident.

_She perched beside him on the couch, noticing that his eyes weren't focused on the limited addition Star Trek dvd she'd rented. They were trailing down her legs. It wasn't like she'd never worn shorts around him before, and today was the second day of the heat wave. Still, having those intense blue eyes running over her legs made her feeling completely naked._

_The worn denim shorts and black tank top were a little damp from her shower, and the bottom of her top had ridden up to expose a sliver of golden skin. She raised an eyebrow as she caught him staring. "Whatcha doin' sweetie?"_

_Her voice seemed to snap him out of his daze, and he closed his mouth before glaring at her. "I was simply studying the trauma you have induced upon your skin cells. That 'tan' that you so covet is actually skin cells in distress, known to cause to melanoma."_

_Penny shrugged. "Still, it looks good with the hair, so I think I'll stick to it thank you very much." Sheldon had nodded, seeming relieved at her dismissal as he turned back to the movie._

Nothing big, just another mini-lecture from Dr Cooper. Still, now she wondered if maybe she had something to do with his night time wanderings. She found the thought surprisingly pleasing.

She shook her head as Bernadette spoke. "But we thought he hated being touched, and clubs, how on earth can he put that aside?" Leonard shrugs. "I think his libido has more control over his brain than he'd like to admit. He always showers as soon as he gets home, but I've tried asking him what he gets up to, and he just ignores me."

Stephanie stood, holding one hand out to Leonard, her eyes filled with sympathy as he yawned. "Come on honey; let's get you back to bed. I'll be in soon." She kissed him goodnight as he walked out the door. He paused on the other side. Why had they been so interested in what Sheldon was up to? Penny had seemed particularly interested, and he suppressed a smirk.

He'd been wondering about those two for a while now. This could get interesting.

Back in the apartment the girls looked at one another. Bernadette broke the silence. "Penny, may I ask you something?"

Penny nodded, looking to be in a daze. Bernadette took a breath. "Are you sexually attracted to Dr Cooper?"

Penny's head snapped up. "What? No! How could you…I mean he's…no!" Stephanie smirked as she poured them each a glass of wine. "Nice try honey. So, when did this start?"

Penny sighed, leaning forward and putting her head in her hands. Her voice was a barely discernable mumble. "The first day." Stephanie's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?" Penny nodded into her hands. "He was…tall. And I thought he might be flirting a bit. Then all the craziness came out and I just…I thought I'd made a mistake. Only lately I keep noticing things."

She closed her eyes. His hands, for one. Those long, dexterous fingers. Then there was the height. She'd always had a thing about tall guys. The brains were a strange one, but something about that cocky, arrogant, imperious assurance in his own intellect was surprisingly attractive.

Plus he had driven her to the hospital.

And sung soft kitty.

And gone to incredible lengths to keep her community college secret.

And hugged her.

And helped her learn physics…or he tried to at least.

And helped her with Penny Blossoms, which was now on the cusp of providing a little extra income.

And pushed her, educated her, demanded more from her even though he knew she wasn't as smart. He explained things to her, challenged her, made her laugh more than she had in years. He didn't disappear when Alicia had moved upstairs, never made her feel like an object.

Oh god. Penny raised her head from her hands as a terrible realization set in, her voice a hoarse whisper. "I think I'm in love with Dr Whack-a-Doodle."

Bernadette and Stephanie's eyes were full of empathy. Stephanie patted her back. "We know honey, we know." Penny groaned, taking a gulp of her wine, wishing it was something stronger. As if reading her mind Bernadette grabbed the bottle of vodka from the freezer, along with three shot glasses.

She measured them each a shot and passed them around. Penny glanced at her clock. 0230. She sighed. "Well, at least we don't have work tomorrow." They threw back their shots before holding the glass out to Bernadette for refills.

She looked at Penny carefully. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea." Penny hissed through her teeth. "I've just realized I'm in love with an insane, neurotic braniac who can't share food but likes picking up club rats and screwing them in allies. It's a freakin' great idea."

Bernadette nodded, pouring out more shots. As the alcohol began to take effect Stephanie appraised Penny's slumped form. She grinned. "Well, it looks like there's only one thing to do honey."

Penny looked up. "Change apartments? Move? Jump off the nearest building?" Bernadette grinned evilly at her, the expression looking all the more devious because of the sweet face it was gracing.

"No – seduce Dr Whack-a-Doodle."


	5. Chapter 5

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N:** Thanks for all the great reviews guys! TBBT reviewers are full of warm fuzzies, makes a gal wanna write more (not that I'm saying I won't write if you don't review, but I have to admit it gets things going much faster). To answer some questions – yup, the rating will go up to M for some smutastic stuff, I'll provide a warning for such chapters. Also some parts of this will be a little dark and angsty, but anyone who has read my Firefly fanfic knows what I'm like, so worry not :)

Dedicated to **bob0045**

* * *

It was now 0330. The girls had given up on Penny's tiny, sweltering apartment and decided to migrate to the roof. They were sprawled on the lawn chairs the boys had moved up there for star gazing, their second bottle of vodka being passed between them in a slow circuit. They weren't completely smashed but there was a definite buzz going on. Bernadette was currently giggling like a school girl while Penny hummed to herself.

They'd spent their time wisely planning the gentle seduction of Sheldon Cooper. At least, they were trying to. Only problem was, they had no idea where to start.

Costumes? Too outlandish.

Jumping him? Too crass.

Saying it outright? Too forward.

Penny may have been a big ol' five but she wanted this to really rock his socks. Especially if he was so secretive about the existence of the rare and valuable Cooper Libido. Stephanie shot up suddenly, almost spilling their vodka.

"I've got it!" She grinned at the other two women. "We go clubbing." Penny shook her head. "There's no way he'd go voluntarily – you know how secretive he's being about all this."

Stephanie shook her head. "We get the boys to convince him – Leonard's birthday is coming up this Friday, we tell Sheldon it's a…what does he call them? No Operational…"

"Non-optional social convention." Bernadette hiccupped as Penny recited the term. Stephanie nodded. "Yeah, one of those. We'll get the boys to bully him into it, and then maybe a drink or two?"

Penny shook her head. "I'm not getting him drunk – that's not exactly how I want this to go." Stephanie nodded. "No, not drunk, just…relaxed. You said you thought those shorts you wore might have set him off – we dress you like that all week, then in a knockout outfit on Friday. And then you break out the secret weapon."

Penny blinked as Bernadette giggled in agreement. "What's the secret weapon?" Stephanie leaned in really close. "You call him _Dr Cooper_."

Penny scoffed. "Oh come on. If that worked I'd know about it." Stephanie smirked. "When you dated Leonard did he ever mention his degree before sex, ever talk about the work he was doing a little more enthusiastically?" Penny squirmed, a little uncomfortable, but Stephanie didn't look jealous, just amused.

She nodded. "Well, yeah, actually he did. It was a little weird." Stephanie nodded at Bernadette. "Bernadette, you're a microbiology student, ever hooked up with a professor?" Bernadette smiled as she nodded. "Not since Howard but yes, I have."

Stephanie smirked. "And did they like being called doctor?" Bernadette broke out into giggles. "Yes!" Stephanie nodded. "All the braniac guys have a thing about it, maybe it's just an ego thing, I don't know."

Bernadette shook her head. "No, we've theorized that it's a position of power that the student-teacher paradigm. We think it answers some left over 'tough guy' inclination that has been otherwise weeded out of those with higher intellects." Penny wrinkled her nose. "Isn't that creepy?"

Stephanie shook her head. "Not if you're over 18. You've got to trust me here Penny – drop the D-bomb and he'll crumbled like a cheap suit."

Penny thought it over. The plan actually didn't sound so bad. Of course, that could have been the vodka warming her blood, but still. She eyed the two other women. Neither had any reason to be directing her down the wrong path. Plus, apart from Leonard, she'd only ever dated idiots, so she'd never had to try this particular trick.

Although she did remember a life guard who loved being reminded that he was her hero. Hmmm.

She raised her bottle to the other women.

"To the secret weapon!"

* * *

_Long fingers gripping her hips, leaving bruises along her thighs as they pulled her higher, closer, tighter. Rough scratch of stubble against her cheeks, fingers tangling in her hair as she gasps, writhes, moans. _

_Piercing blue eyes pinning her to the spot as an imperious smirk crosses his face, his voice arrogant and superior._

"_Come."_

Penny woke up with a gasp. Her head pounded angrily at her sudden movement, her stomach roiling and her mouth going dry. But none of that even registered in the wake of the sharp, throbbing sensation between her legs. Her panties were soaked through, her breathing was heavy, and she couldn't shake that dream.

She slumped back against her pillows, wincing as the movement jostled her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the dream to disappear. She exhaled sharply.

"Oh boy, I'm in trouble."

Penny spent most of Saturday recovering. They hadn't gone to bed until past 5, and when she woke up it was with a pounding headache, no doubt exacerbated by the stifling heat in her apartment. She didn't want Bernadette to be stuck here alone, so when Stephanie had stumbled into Leonard's room the other two girls had crashed in Penny's apartment together.

Penny felt relieved she wouldn't have to sleep here again tonight.

After Bernadette thanked her and left Penny sipped slowly at her orange juice, willing her headache to disappear. Still, last night had been useful. Thinking about it sober Penny realised that if it was her behaviour that had set him off the first time, maybe she could keep doing it until he directed his attentions elsewhere. At least show him there was an alternative to club rats and alley ways.

The thought of innocent Sheldon Cooper engaging in such down and dirty activity made her toes curl a little. She wondered if it was twisted that she was turned on by learning he had a dark side. The only problem with realizing her crush was the fact that now she couldn't turn it off.

In fact, it was getting downright distracting.

As she refilled her juice she thought about getting lectured on physics from her knees. As she gingerly ate some dry toast she wondered what would happen if she slipped into the shower behind him. As she brushed her teeth she imagined those long fingers stroking her, a Southern drawl telling her to come.

As she shuddered at the last thought she heard a knock on her door. She let Stephanie in with a sympathetic smile. "Good morning."

Stephanie groaned as she sat down on the couch. "There is nothing good about this morning. Thank god I'm not on call today." Penny poured her guest a juice and sat down beside her. Stephanie seemed to pause for a moment, before turning to Penny with a serious expression.

"Ok, this is going to sound strange, but are you sure this is what you want?" Penny blinked. "Um, yes?" Stephanie sighed. "I only ask because I get the impression that Sheldon is kind of an all or nothing guy. You want this to be more than sex – if he does too then it sounds like that'll be a first for him. Think about how he is with his schedule, his routine. Imagine him incorporating a girlfriend into that. I can't imagine how he'd cope if something changed.

Think about how attached he gets to his possessions, his things, his routine. If he went out of his way to reciprocate, to integrate a girlfriend into his life, how do you think he'd go about it? Cuz I'm betting it wouldn't be halfway – it'd be pretty full on."

Penny was quiet for a moment. Sheldon in a relationship. The thought of contracts and lectures about paradigm shifts and waking up next to a man who was only a lab accident away from being a super villain and slept like Dracula should have freaked her out. Only, it didn't. Because when she woke up it would be to his loud, obnoxious vocal tests. And when she had a problem it would be broken down and analysed to the _nth_ degree to find the most logical solution. And when she was in trouble she would always have someone she could count on. She'd have someone there for her always, even when it made him uncomfortable. If this was what he was like as a friend, loaning cash without question, coming to her aid time and time again, looking after her and teaching her and challenging her everyday…what would he be like as a boyfriend?

The answer came to her mind too quickly. Neurotic, pedantic, anal retentive…perfect.

And, truth be told, she wanted to do things for him too. She wanted to look after him when he was sick and needy, wanted to challenge his schedule and alter his views, wanted to acknowledge all his craziness as something unique and valuable.

She looked back to Stephanie, who gave her a soft smile. "That's what I thought. Now, what are we making you wear today?"

* * *

She opened the door to their apartment without knocking, shooting a grin at Leonard, who raised an eyebrow at her attire. The shorts and tank top from the other week were their first attempt to get a 'rise' out of Sheldon, so to speak. They had settled on just that outfit and a sleek pony tail, nothing too outlandish to start.

Leonard smirked at her. "So, a little birdy tells me I'm going to a club for my birthday this week?" Penny narrowed her eyes, waiting to see whatever mocking followed. Instead he surprised her. He walked over and gave her a quick, friendly hug.

She raised an eyebrow. "Ok, what was that for?" Leonard just shrugged. "I want you happy." She stared at him for a moment longer, trying to pin point exactly what she was reading off him. She figured Stephanie must have filled him in, but this reaction was not what she would expect from an ex-boyfriend learning about a crush on his roommate.

Still, it wasn't like they weren't friends now, any residual feelings were long gone, but there was something more. Finally she figured it out. "You know something!"

Leonard looked sheepish, flicking his eyes towards Sheldon's bedroom. "Um, maybe we should talk in your apartment." She nodded, watching him grab a note book from his drawer as he followed her out. When they had privacy she gestured to the book curiously.

He nodded. "Ok, well, see, after you moved in next door Sheldon started doing some…weird stuff." Penny gave him a look of disbelief, to which he nodded. "I know, I know, I mean weirder than usual. The night wanderings were one thing, but he started some other stuff too. I thought it was strange so I wrote it down…for future generations to ponder while they examine the destruction and chaos that Sheldon is sure to cause."

He opened the book and Penny glanced over the page. She'd seen Leonard's physics notebooks before, they were usually filled with complex diagrams, equations, and notes that might as well have been written in Klingon. This was different – it looked like a simple journal of some kind.

**July 5****th ****2007: Sheldon bought vitamins today. He said they weren't for personal use, he just wanted to experiment. He spent a week going through various brands before establishing the ones with the highest potential yield to the user.**

Penny remembered him correcting which brand she chose the next time she let him come grocery shopping with her. He'd still made his 'very expensive urine' comment, but directed her to a brand she didn't usually try.

**August 12****th ****2009: Sheldon bought ice cream today. It isn't ice cream day. He didn't get his usual vanilla, but instead chose an assortment of flavours from various brands. Every night after dinner he had a bowl of a different flavour for dessert. And always offered one to Penny.**

Leonard had mumbled jealously until Sheldon produced a soy ice cream for him. Penny remembered exclaiming loudly that she loved Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. After the bowling alley incident Sheldon had brought her over a tub of that very brand to comfort her.

**March 17****th**** 2010: Penny went out dancing with her friends last night. Sheldon extended his bathroom time by twenty minutes. He said something about the colour red.**

A red herve leger bandage dress. She had saved for months to buy that dress, loving the way it clung to her body, the blood red setting off her hair and skin. Sheldon had excused himself from dinner, saying he was tired and wanted to go to bed early.

Penny looked up at Leonard. "What does this mean?" Leonard sighed. "All I know if he's never bothered running experiments to find out my favourite brand of ice cream. Or done extensive testing to find Raj's best vitamin choice, even though he thinks they're hokum. Or been shook by something Howard was wearing. Ok, maybe that last one isn't true…the goth look was a little frightening for all of us." Penny took the book from his hands, stunned.

Leonard gave her a pat on the shoulder before letting himself out. Penny sat on the arm of the couch. The book was filled with little moments Leonard had noticed over the years, and she briefly wondered why he'd kept taking these notes. Of course, he was a scientist, and any ammunition he had against Sheldon would be helpful if they ever got into an argument.

Finally her eyes widened as she realized exactly what the book meant. Her little unrequited crush might not be so unrequited. In fact, given the number of strange occurences Leonard had noticed, and the frequency with which they involved Penny, she thought maybe it might even mean more than that.

It might mean he loved her back.


	6. Chapter 6

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N: **Ok so I'm not so sure about Californian weather, but down under we've been having some doozies. Maximum temperature has been about 42 degrees Celsius, roughly 107 Farenheit. And that isn't going to be the worst of it – please correct me if I'm way too far out. Assume this is set in the summer (duh)

* * *

Howard smirked at Raj as they watched Sheldon pretending to focus on the movie. It was their 8th viewing of Serenity, and even though Summer Glau was kicking some serious ass on screen, the good doctor was looking elsewhere.

And who could blame him? Penny was wearing her silk boxers and a matching tank, both in a pale green that set off her eyes. Her hair was in a messy bun that left little tendrils tickling her shoulders, her feet were bare and tucked up under her, and she was leaning slightly to the left. Which just happened to put her closer to the good Dr Cooper than usual.

Howard shifted slightly. He was comfortably leaning on the couch from his position on the floor, Bernadette sitting cross legged between his legs. He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in the smell of rose hip shampoo. He still wasn't entirely sure what she was doing wasting her time with him, but he wasn't about to question a good thing. Stephanie was sitting between Leonard's legs – he'd offered her the couch but she'd declined, taking the floor instead.

Largely because it was easier to sneak looks at Sheldon's reaction to Penny.

It wasn't obvious. The only reason any of them noticed anything was because they were looking for it. But there was a definite flicking on the eyes, a very occasional parting of the lips, and Raj had sworn that he'd seen Sheldon breathe deeply, as if inhaling a scent of some kind. Koothrappli was seated on Penny's right, enjoying the scene playing out before them.

Whilst Leonard had been contractually obliged to receive the small bruise on his cheekbone as evidence of duress, the contract had stated nothing about Bernadette and Stephanie mentioning anything. Sheldon hadn't asked about the bruise, but the girls may have filled in the other guys about what was going on. And no power on earth would make Howard or Raj ruin this little plan. Largely because Stephanie had suggested something anatomically impossible with a glint in her eye that said she might just try it.

If that wasn't bad enough, Bernadette's reminder of easy access to flesh eating bacteria had sealed the deal.

So now they sat, pretending to watch a movie whilst really watching Sheldon pretend to watch a movie. When Penny laughed at some character onscreen Sheldon's eyebrow twitched, and he resolutely focused on the screen in front of him.

It was all Howard could do not to laugh out loud.

It was Tuesday night. They'd had their usual meal at the Cheesecake Factory, and if Penny had stood slightly closer to Sheldon than usual as she took their order, nobody mentioned a thing. It was weird to have not one but three girls in their lives, all of who wanted to spend time with them for some reason or another. Howard thought he could get used to it.

The calm that Sheldon had been exhibiting lately had been fracturing slightly in the wake of Penny's altered dress. It wasn't like she was wearing anything particularly different – after all, she'd been wearing such clothing for years now. It was more than they were finally noticing Sheldon's reactions. And that was where the fun started.

When she'd come over Saturday night in those denim shorts his eyes had lingered over her rear for a hair too long. When she'd spent Sunday in shorts and an oversized t-shirt that she'd tied at the waist, revealing a sliver of golden skin, he'd licked his lips. The funniest had been on Monday, when the heat had risen to 105, so hot that even the boys apartment had felt it.

She'd had the excuse that she'd been sunbathing. But when she'd flounced into their apartment wearing only the denim shorts and a bright red bikini top Sheldon's eyes had nearly bugged out of his head. For half a second Howard had thought Sheldon was about to pass out.

Or lick a bead of sweat from her shoulder. It was kind of hard to tell with him.

Instead he'd immediately retreated to his room, claiming heat exhaustion. Penny had offered to come sing him soft kitty in bed and he'd broken out in a sweat, snapping that he wasn't sick, just overheated.

Raj and Howard had waited three seconds before collapsing into a heap of maniacal laughter. Penny had pulled on a thin t-shirt almost immediately after Sheldon left, but it had been mighty funny to behold. Even Leonard had chortled as Penny stole Sheldon's spot and the last dumpling, grinning proudly.

Which brought them to today. Howard looked up to Leonard as the credits began to roll onscreen, and the other man nodded once. He grinned. "So Leonard, the big 3-0. How are we planning to celebrate this momentous occasion?"

Leonard shrugged. "Not sure actually – I thought I'd leave it up to you guys." They waited a second for Sheldon to interject with laser tag or a Blade Runner night but he remained silent. It could have had something to do with Penny shifting, raising her hair from her neck and fanning herself a little.

Stephanie smiled. "Well actually I thought we could all go out for the night – it's a big birthday, maybe we could check out The Hive." Sheldon's head snapped up. "Why would we want to do that?"

Howard shrugged. "Well, it's got drinking, dancing, what more could you want?" Raj whispered something in his ear and he nodded. "Plus they designed it based on Resident Evil – how could we not go?"

Sheldon twitched, ready to say something, when Leonard piped up. "Well I'd love that. After all it is my birthday, and friends let their friends do what they want on their birthdays."

Sheldon gave him a glare. "Are you attempting to indicate that this is a non-optional social convention?" Leonard smirked. "Yup."

The other man leaned forward with fire in his eyes. Before Sheldon could begin his lecture to the contrary Penny spoke up. "Oh my god Stephanie we could all get dressed at my place and do the girly thing! You have got to see this dress I bought – red isn't usually my style but you'll love it!"

Stephanie smirked, playing along. "Oh that would be fantastic! Bernadette what do you think?" Catching on quickly the other girl smiled. "That sounds great. Plus I promised to lend Penny my black Louboutin pumps – they'd work with the dress, right?"

Penny nodded and smiled. Throughout their little side bar Sheldon had slowly leaned back in the chair. His lecture seemed to have been completely forgotten, and he was staring at Penny with a slightly glazed look. His usual smartass remark about being in hell when listening to girly talk wasn't forthcoming. He shook himself, looking down to his lap.

Sheldon sighed and stood. "Very well. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight."

And with that he strode out of the room.

Bernadette watched him leave. "I thought he'd put up more of a fight." Leonard laughed. "You haven't seen the dress yet, have you?"

* * *

Penny was learning things. She'd never been one for experiments but she had to admit this was certainly enlightening. Who knew science could be this much fun?

She learned that if you wore a bikini top in front of Sheldon he'd stay out far later than he usually did, and when he came home his shirt would be untucked and his eyes a little wild. She wondered if he'd known she was awake. She guessed not.

She learned that gold gladiator sandals made his eyebrow twitch.

Baby pink camisoles made him hold his laptop in front of his pants.

Bending down in denim shorts would cause him to make a slightly strangled noise in his throat.

And leaning over him, gently placing a hand on his forehead and telling him that he looked flushed would lead to him immediately exiting the vicinity.

All in all Penny had to say she really liked science.

* * *

Sheldon was ready to snap. He knew that expression was ridiculous, one could not actually snap, but it was nonetheless appropriate. The heat was driving him crazy. He'd been out every night this week and still that endless fire flooding his veins wouldn't cease.

He wondered when he'd gotten so poetic.

He contemplated emailing Beverly Hofstader, but decided against it. No need to share such an embarrassing secret with such a sound mind. Besides, he wasn't stupid, not by a long shot. He could pin point the reason behind his frustration.

It was _her_. Penny. She was the catalyst, the potent ingredient because of which he was acting so crazy. Usually his urges were satisfied with a few brief nights, but now the torment was endless.

Curse his baser biological urges.


	7. Chapter 7

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

* * *

Stephanie and Bernadette arrived at five. They were set to leave at nine, which gave them enough time to enjoy a girls dinner and some last minute scheming. Penny was washed, buffed, polished and waxed within an inch of her life that day, spending a good part of her pay on beauty treatments. She didn't care, she wanted to feel her very best.

Even with the behaviour they'd noticed in Sheldon all week he had still maintained a safe distance from her. She'd kind of hoped that by now he'd be ready to jump her bones, but knew that startling the deer was never a good plan. She'd hunted enough to know how to wait.

She was currently wearing her sweatpants and a black tank as she straightened Bernadette's hair. Stephanie looked so professional normally – it was nice to see her wearing the rock chick look like she'd created it. The high boots, black skirt and Ramones t-shirt worked well with the spiky cuff she wore on her wrist. Bernadette was more demure, her black dress had long sleeves and reached her knees, but the impressive cleavage was a perfect counterpart to the rest of the lady like outfit.

She'd made a comment about Howard liking the secretary look that gave Penny a mental image she'd rather not have.

Stephanie poured them each some more wine. She was really enjoying getting to know Penny and Bernadette – working long hours in an ER didn't leave much time for friendships or relationships, so she was delighted that dating Leonard allowed for both. She smiled a little when she thought of Leonard. The first time they'd dated they had been on completely different wave lengths but this time something was different.

It was easier, smoother, both parties were calmer and the pace was perfect. Truth be told he'd started making noises about moving in together, but after last time Stephanie was happy to play it a little coy.

Penny finished Bernadette's hair and stood. "Ok." She sounded like she was steeling herself, and Stephanie suppressed a smirk as she strode into the bedroom purposefully. She looked at Bernadette. "Do you think this will work?"

The other woman sighed. "I have no idea – but it's the best plan we have." Stephanie nodded and the two women sipped their wine in comfortable silence for a while. Half an hour later Penny emerged. They both froze.

The dress was like a second skin, the tight bandages of blood red fabric clinging to a lean waist and flat stomach. It was completely backless, revealing an expanse of golden skin. Her hair was loose and curled, waving over her shoulders. The make-up was clean pink lips and smoky eyes rimmed with kohl.

Both women felt briefly relieved that it was Sheldon she was targeting rather than Leonard or Howard.

Bernadette grinned. "Almost perfect!" Penny furrowed her brows. "What, what did I miss?" The other woman smiled at her, pulling the shoebox from behind her. "These."

Penny grinned as she slipped her feet into the five inch patent leather black pumps. Even wearing them she wouldn't be as tall as her target, and she liked that very much. She grinned. "Ok, how do I look?"

Stephanie laughed. "Like a sex bomb!" Penny laughed back, bending to take a sip of her wine. "I think I'm ready."

* * *

They exited the apartment at the same time as the boys stepped out of theirs. Penny supressed a giggle – Howard had obviously been dressed by his girlfriend. The white business shirt and black slacks looked surprisingly normal on him, though he was still wearing that batman belt buckle he liked so much.

Raj and Leonard had also been bullied into buying new suits, and both cleaned up rather nicely. Plus Raj had his hair combed back, giving him a surprisingly attractive air of danger. Which was weird. Because it was Raj.

It was Sheldon who made her jaw drop. The black suit and light blue shirt made him look like a bond villain, and his hair was…messy. The stubble they'd noticed the other night was present, and he looked for all intents and purposes like he was on the prowl. Stephanie shot a quick glance at Bernadette, praying their target wasn't planning to hook up tonight. Unless it was with their girl.

Still, the way his eyes widened and his hands slipped into his pants pockets was reassuring.

Stephanie grinned at her boyfriend, taking the proffered arm. "Let's go."

Howard extended his arm to Bernadette, grinning proudly as his eyes swept over her. "Katee Sackoff can rot in hell – I've got the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm tonight." Bernadette blushed but gave him a shy smile.

Penny looked up at Sheldon expectantly but he simply turned and headed straight down the stairs, his blue eyes flashing dangerously. Penny felt herself slump a little. So not the reaction she was hoping for.

Raj stepped forward and gave her a sheepish smile, extending his arm. She smiled back at him gratefully. "Thanks Raj. You look really handsome by the way." He gave her a shy smile. He still couldn't talk to her, but he was more comfortable with the little physical affections she showed them all, and he didn't like seeing her sad.

Besides, walking into a club with a blonde goddess dressed like sex on legs was a nice bonus.


	8. Chapter 8

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N: **Man you guys are fast reviewers – shiny! To answer Lyaksandra, I'm Australian, hence the down under comment. Means I'm 19 hours ahead of Los Angeles. :) Thank for calling me a machine, my ego is much obliged! Also I make a 'gay' reference – I've got mates who are guy, I'm used to it, and I'm sorry but peach martinis are a little on the druity side. No offence is intended.

BTW – here be smut. And angst. Mwuahaha

* * *

Penny was used to getting to the front of the line without any issues. The boys were well dressed enough that the bouncer permitted them entry without question, which obviously surprised Howard and Raj. However Penny had never been in a situation where they got taken to the front of the line for a reason other than herself. She didn't want to sound vain – it helped being blonde and dressed like the city's most expensive street walker. But the bouncer hadn't even looked at her. Sheldon had walked straight up and nodded once, gesturing to the people behind him, and they'd gained immediate entry.

Raj whispered in Howard's ear. "Well if I'd known that would happen we would have brought him with us last time wouldn't we!"

The club was packed. Howard had immediately taken Raj to the bar and spent the next fifteen minutes trying to get him to order something that didn't come with a little umbrella. They finally agreed on a peach martini, although for the life of her Penny couldn't figure out why that was less gay then a grasshopper. Howard had grabbed white wine for the girls and beer for himself and Leonard.

Sheldon was a surprise. He'd held up two fingers to the bar man who had immediately poured Jack Daniel's into a glass. No ice, no lime wedge, no Virgin Cuba Libre crap. This from the guy who hadn't even been able to swallow his shot a year ago. Penny raised an eyebrow and he shrugged casually. "It's grown on me."

Watching Sheldon lean against the bar, surveying the dance floor with keen eyes, messy hair and two fingers of whisky was something she never expected to see. The flirtatious looks he was getting confirmed what she'd suspected. Apparently Dr Cooper was a bit of a hottie when he wanted to be.

Bernadette tugged her onto the dance floor. After three wines, two tequila shots and something called a 'Zombie' that had contained more alcohol than all of Russia Penny was feeling rather happy. And to her surprise she was actually having a blast. Bernadette and Stephanie were happy to dance, laughing and joking. There was no competition, no semi-catty comments about each other's outfits, no disappearing off with strange guys.

Even the boys seemed to be enjoying themselves. Howard and Leonard couldn't dance, not for their lives, but they were content to laugh and move a little whenever one of their girlfriends demanded their attention. The rest of the time they stood near the bar, drinking and laughing. Raj had been a pleasant surprise – he was actually an excellent dancer. He moved between the girls, spinning them and laughing as they enjoyed the throbbing beat.

Guys hit on her, trying to dance with her, but she always turned them away, content to stay with her friends. When one had gotten a little too handsy Raj had actually stepped in, pulling Penny back towards the guys and giving the man a fierce glare.

When Penny ordered another Zombie and looked over to her friends she got the strangest feeling in her chest. These people made her happy. Not just happy because they were drunk, not happy in a 'we're gonna hook up later' way, just happy. They were laughing, joking. Even Raj, who was single and had drunk enough that talking to women didn't terrify him, was simply happy to stay with the girls and dance.

She felt a tear well up in her eye and Stephanie came over. The other woman put a hand on her shoulder. "Awww, honey, what's the matter?" Penny shook her head with a tearful smile. "I just…I'm just really happy with who my friends are. I don't think I've ever felt like that before."

Stephanie grinned and gave her a quick hug. "I know the feeling." Penny watched her glance over at Leonard, who gave them an easy smile. He'd danced with Penny a few times, both of them laughing at the height difference because of her heels, and it had felt wonderful. No UST, no longing looks, just two friends laughing and joking and dancing together. It was what she'd always wanted, and she couldn't be happier that he was giving Stephanie a shy but pleased smile.

Which made her wonder where her own target was. She glanced around the room, searching for the lanky physicist in the crowd of people, and finally spotted him around the over side of the bar. He was leaning over a pretty brunette, tucking a curl behind her ear as he spoke. The girl laughed, placing a hand on his chest and giving him a flirtatious smile.

Penny's good mood disappeared. She downed her Zombie and ordered another, needing the dutch courage. Stephanie was still beside her, watching as Sheldon smoothly ordered another drink for himself and the girl. "Honey, now's the time. He's obviously loosened up – he's picking up while his friends are here. Go get him."

She gave Penny a nudge forward, and Penny nodded, straightening her dress and fluffing her hair. The alcohol was giving her a delightfully warm feeling, and her walk loosened as she approached him, her hips swaying in time with the music.

Sheldon glanced up and raked his eyes over her body. He muttered something to the girl, who nodded and moved back to her friends, giggling shyly. He straightened as she approached. "Hello Penny, are you enjoyin' yourself?"

The Southern twang was stronger when he drank, she noticed. She gave him a smile that had received more numbers than a California phonebook, raising an eyebrow. "Sure am – whatcha doin'?" He looked to where the girl was standing with her friends, glaring at Penny, and shrugged as he turned back. "You tell me."

His voice seemed to have gotten deeper, and his eyes flashed with something she couldn't quite recognise. She smiled and leaned closer. "Looks like you're submitting to biological urges huh." He was leaning back against the bar, resting on his elbows as he looked her up and down once more.

He nodded. "It would seem that way, yes." Damn it, why wasn't he flirting with her? She turned up the charm, the alcohol making her bolder than she thought she could be. She ran one hand down the seam of his shirt as she purred. "Seems you've been doing a lot of that lately."

His eyes darkened but he didn't lean into her touch, and his expression was wary. "Have I now?" She nodded, running her tongue over her teeth. "Seems a little strange that you'd come to places like this when I live right across the hall."

She pushed forward, trying not to get knocked off her stride by those piercing eyes. "Seems a little unfair that I don't get the Sheldon Lee Cooper experience and they do." Anger briefly flashed over his face before he suddenly calmed. That slow, lazy smile she had seen the other night spread across his face, his eyes raking over her body lasciviously, his teeth glinting in the low club lights.

He placed one hand on her bare back, pulling her slightly closer, into his chest. His voice was a deep rumble in her ear. "Is that what you want? The Sheldon Lee Cooper experience?"

She felt the flash of wet hit between her legs and struggled not to moan at the drawl in his voice. She always had a thing for good ol' boys. His thumb rubbed a lazy circle over her bare back and she shivered. "Yes, yes I want that."

He straightened immediately, wrapping one hand around her wrist and pulling her with him as he strode out of the club. He didn't look back at her as they moved onto the street, pulling her a few blocks down the road without a word. Finally he found what he was looking for – the alley was dark, far enough from people that they wouldn't be heard.

He pulled her down the alley and spun her, her back hitting the wall hard. He stared down at her for a moment before nodding once to himself, his eyes devoid of emotion.

His fingers tangled in her hair. "Get on your knees." She wanted to protest, she wanted to say he shouldn't speak to her like that, but her body was obeying as she sunk down, unzipping his pants and taking him out, her eyes widening at the length and weight. His fingers stayed tangled in her hair as she began to take him into her mouth, struggling to keep her jaw relaxed. He didn't thrust against her, didn't pull her hair or push her further. One hand shot out so he could lean on the wall behind her, his breath a sharp pant as she worked on him.

After only a few moments he was pulling her up, and his voice was harsh with his ragged breath. "Spread your legs." She complied without thinking, her eyes widening as he immediately ran a finger up the inside of her thigh, finding the cotton barrier of her underwear. In a flash he ripped them off her body, letting them fall to the ground.

She winced at the brief pull of the fabric but the gasp turned into a low moan as he began to stroke her, his long fingers moving against her confidently. When he slipped two inside her she gasped at the contact, his thumb working her clit. She felt it building, felt the coil tightening in her stomach faster than ever before, and she was writhing and panting, her hands braced on his shoulders as her head rested on the wall behind her.

She was almost there, so close she could scream, when his hands suddenly stopped moving. She whimpered and opened her eyes just as he hauled her up, her back scraping against the wall, setting already sensitive skin on fire. He slipped on the condom with practiced ease, holding her against the wall with one arm before looking back into her eyes.

His eyes stayed on her face as he entered her swiftly, knocking the breath from her lungs as she took in his size, feeling herself stretched and filled to the limit. The orgasm ripped through her body at his entrance, her eyes screwing shut and a whimper echoing through the alleyway as she came. He gave her a few seconds to adjust before he began to move, slow at first, then increasing his speed as her moans began to intensify. She leaned forward, wanting to kiss him, but he held her against the wall, his eyes never leaving her face as he thrust into her body.

Her legs were wrapped tightly around his back, the stiletto heels pressing into him as she hung on. She clung to him, her moans and whimpers becoming keens that sounded through the abandoned street, and when he slipped one hand back between her legs she felt another climax building faster and faster. When his thumb rubbed lazy circles against her clit she was so close, almost there, when his voice sounded in her ear.

"Come."

As it had all night, her body obeyed. The orgasm strung her tighter than a bow, sending white sparks into her vision, her cry of pleasure bouncing off the walls, his name ringing from her lips. His thrusts increased just as she came, his eyes screwing shut and as a growl ripped through his throat. He thrust against once, twice, and then stopped, his head falling onto her shoulder, his breath hot against her skin.

She tried to regain a hold of her breathing. Her voice was very small. "Wow." He stepped back, pulling out of her and lowering her to the ground. He had the condom off and his pants zipped up before she could move, one hand remaining against her, holding her up as she struggled with her shaky legs.

She looked to him, wanting to smile, wanting to kiss him and laugh and tell him how she felt. But those cool blue eyes held no emotion, his expression was indifferent, and he nodded at her once. "Tell the others I'm tired, I'm going home."

She stared in shock as he turned, shaking herself and grabbing his arm. "Wait Sheldon, what the hell?" The look he gave her froze her, such casual nonchalance. His eyes swept over her messy hair, her glazed eyes, her shocked expression.

He shrugged. "Congratulations. You've just enjoyed the Sheldon Lee Cooper experience."

And with that he strode out of the alley, leaving Penny alone in the hot night air.


	9. Chapter 9

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N: **Yup, the end of the last chap was a tad angsty, but worry not children. I'm a HEA kinda gal, I just like to make 'em earn it ;)

Penny sat on her bed, wrapped tightly in her blanket. The weather had taken a sudden turn – the intense, smouldering heat that had essentially been the catalyst for her current misery had been swept away by thunder storms. The air felt chilled, the rain was bucketing down, and Penny almost missed the heat. She was wearing sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt, trying very hard not to remember the last time she'd worn it. She'd been addicted to Age of Conan at the time, and Sheldon…

She sighed. It had been a week since their tryst in the alleyway. She'd tried to talk to him the next day, tried to ask what was going on, why he did that. She kind of wished she hadn't. He turned those icy blue eyes on her and raised an eyebrow.

His voice was coolly indifferent, but his eyes were hurt. "It was what you asked for, Penny." She remembered her jaw dropping. "Sheldon, I didn't want-"

"Penny, you deliberately engineered a situation where you knew I would say yes. I saw the three of you watching me in the car the other night – you forget my impeccable hearing. Instead of trying to talk to me about it you decided to take the opportunity for a 'quick fuck', as I've heard it called. You were sexually satisfied, as was I, so there is really no need for either of us to ever speak of it again."

He'd gone to leave the laundry room and she'd grabbed his arm, flashing back to the same action before in the alleyway. She narrowed her eyes. "Sheldon you're not listening to me-"

His voice was harsh, the southern twang increasing as he grew angry, destroying his usual precise manner of speaking. "No, you ain't listenin'. You got jus' what you wanted, treated jus' like every other girl this has happened with, an' I don't wanna talk about it anymore." He dropped the anger for a second, his eyes revealing a deep hurt. "It was just a temporary shift in the friendship paradigm, nothing more, nothing less."

And he'd refused to speak about it with her again. He was polite, calm, completely normal. And it was breaking her heart. Largely because she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd done something very, very wrong. She realized exactly what it was a few days later. He wasn't angry that she'd wanted to sleep with him – he was angry she hadn't wanted anything more.

She heard a noise in her living room and opened her bedroom door to see the last person on earth she was expecting.

Mary Cooper.

Sheldon's mother smiled. "How ya doin' honey?" Penny fought back tears but Mary's voice was so sweet, her eyes were sympathetic, and she couldn't help herself. When Mary stood and walked over, her arms open, Penny crumpled into them, sobs wracking her body.

Mary nodded while she held Penny, moving them to the couch. "Shhh, don't you worry now honey. You just let it all out." And she did. She cried out her heartache, her jealousy, her fear that she had ruined her friendship with Sheldon forever.

When her sobs started to die down Mary sat back, fixing her with a stern gaze. "There, no more rivers here. Now I don't know what exactly happened with you two, but when I talked ta my boy he was soundin' funny. Seein' how Missy noticed him lookin' at you liked you'd hung the moon I figured maybe you'd know what it was."

Penny blushed, uncomfortable, and Mary nodded once. "Don't tell me – I don't wanna hear bout anythin' my boy might be doin' that Jesus would be frownin' on." Her voice softened. "But I'm gonna tell ya a story. When Sheldon was nine, a few years before he disappeared off ta college, he came ta me with a problem. Said there was a girl in his class who he was havin' funny feelin's bout. She was nice to him, acting like his friend, and it confused the hell outta him. Now you know my Shelly, he was angry as a wet badger at the idea he was havin' feelin's like that.

But I told him it was normal, that even genius' had hearts, and that his little crush was just nature's way of tellin' him he was human. Well you can imagine how badly he took it. Still, he resigned himself ta his feelin's, an' once he does that there's no turnin' back. He told the girl, Mandy her name was, that he thought she had a nice bone structure."

Penny smiled, such a Sheldon way to say things. Mary smiled back but then her face grew dark. "Well fer a little while she was still sweet ta him, til a neighbour boy saw him walkin' her home one day. When she realized someone had seen them things turned nasty. The girl told him she didn't want no freak weirdo ta be sayin' things like that ta her. She told his whole class what he'd said. Now Shelly was used ta bein' teased bout bein' smart, but he hadn't been teased fer bein' human before. Sheldon came home that day lookin' like he'd lost his favourite calculator. When I asked if he wanted ta talk bout it he said there was no point. She was right, accordin' ta him."

Penny felt her heart break for a young Sheldon, confused and terrified by his emotions, having his attempt at humanity thrown back in his face. Mary nodded as Penny's eyes teared up. "Never was a girl after that. Shelly did what he knew best – he worked, and he worked hard. When he got older he talked ta his Pa bout urges, and my dearly deceased idiot of a husband told him ta find a way to fix 'em. You gotta understand, Shelly's Pa never took ta the Lord the way I did.

Still, it was the best advice Shelly had on the subject. Now I ain't never pried – I don't really wanna know what he gets up to late at night, but I've got a good idea. I wasn't born yesterday. He goes out an' finds what he needs, protects himself as best he can from the side he don't wanna admit ta havin'. He's got his friends, few thought they may be, an' that's enough fer him normally. I kept hopin' he'd find a nice girl who liked him jus' the way he was, but whenever I tell him that he just gives me that look he normally saves fer the little jewish fella.

Bottom line is he ain't ever spoke bout a girl like that since."

Mary narrowed her eyes at Penny, who had the strangest sensation of her soul being examined. "Till you came along. Day you showed up somethin' changed. He wanted ta talk ta me bout it once, but that was right before his Pa died, an' he ain't brought it up since. Least, not deliberately. But somehow, no matter what I call him bout, yer name always comes up."

Mary stood, straightening. "I don't know what my boy did, knowin' him he probably don't really understand it himself. But I know this – I ain't never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you."

She ran an affectionate hand over Penny's head. "Day you called me fer my peach cobbler recipe, same day ya asked fer that letter to get Shelly ta let ya stay over, I heard the way ya said his name. Seems ta me that if after a few years of knowin' Shelly ya can still smile when ya talk bout him, well, maybe that means somethin'."

And with that she swept out of Penny's apartment, leaving the waitress open mouthed.


	10. Chapter 10

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

* * *

Leonard felt his phone vibrate. He and Stephanie were waiting for Howard and Bernadette to arrive. They were having dinner, and Sheldon was working at his desk. The text was from Penny.

_**Need u guys out of the apartment please.**_

Leonard smiled to himself, showing the text to Stephanie, who looked relieved. Ever since the night at the club Penny had been quiet and withdrawn, avoiding the apartment like the plague. She'd refused to talk about what had happened, Sheldon wasn't forthcoming with any answers, and the tension was getting a little difficult to live with.

He stood, holding his hand out to Stephanie and turning to Sheldon. "Howard just asked us to meet him at the restaurant so we're leaving now. Have a good night." Sheldon grunted something in response, engrossed in the equations he was typing.

Leonard zipped off a text to Howard informing him of the change of location, and they slipped out the door. As they passed Penny's apartment Leonard knocked once. She poked her head out the door and thanked him silently before disappearing back inside.

* * *

She exhaled. She could do this. One way or another, she was going to tell him how she felt. Only problem was she needed him distracted enough that he wouldn't be able to bail on her. She smoothed her hands down her outfit, knowing that this was definitely a risk. This could backfire spectacularly. What was it Stephanie had said? All or nothing. That's what she was doing – she was going for all, and if she came away with nothing at least she'd know she tried.

Still, he was worth it.

She locked her apartment door behind her, slipping across the hallway and entering the boys apartment without knocking. Sheldon was engrossed in his work, though she knew he was aware who was there. He spoke without turning around. "What do you want, Penny?"

She tried to keep her tone casual. "Actually I'm enrolling in a few classes at Pasedena City College and I was hoping you could tutor me a bit." He sighed, still not turning around. "Penny, the last time I tried to teach you something all you could do was recite a scathing diatribe against Leonard's work. You couldn't sit through five minutes without hiding in the bathroom. Why would I waste my time repeating a failed experiment?"

She tried to keep the irritation out of her voice. She needed him to turn around. "Because that's what friends do?" He scoffed, finally turning. "Penny I hardly think-"

His words froze in his throat.

She smirked, pleased with the reaction. The white shirt, tartan skirt and knee high socks seemed to have worked. The perfect curls had taken the better part of an hour, and the smoky eye make-up set off the costume well. Sheldon's blue eyes had glazed over and his mouth was open. His hair was messy again, this time from running his fingers through it as he worked, and she sauntered towards him.

"You see, I really, really need a study buddy. Think you could help me out…" She leaned down, displaying enough cleavage to make his mouth water, and whispered in his ear. "Dr Cooper?"

A strangled noise sounded in his throat and Penny made a mental note to thank Stephanie the next time she saw her. Secret weapon indeed. His hands were on her waist completely involuntarily, and when she pulled back he was struggling to control his breathing.

He tried to speak. "Penny, I don't…" She gave him her best puppy dog eyes, pouting a little as she leant close enough that her lips almost skimmed his. "Please, Dr Cooper? I'm really, really bad at this stuff."

She brushed her lips across his jawline, trailing one hand up the leg of his pants.

That did it. He was standing, taking her with him, carrying her down the hall and into his bedroom. She stifled a giggle at his haste as he locked the door with one arm, turning and dumping her on the bed with the other. "But Dr Cooper, I thought you said people couldn't be in your room?"

He raised an imperious eyebrow. "When have you ever listened to that rule?" Penny smirked and jumped from the bed, kneeling in front of him. His eyes widened as her hands immediately went to his fly, taking his out and working on him quickly.

A grunt of pleasure sounded from his throat and he tried to speak. "P-p-penny…" She ignored him, releasing him from her mouth and giving him a smile. She laughed at his shocked expression, standing and pushing him onto the bed before straddling his lap. His eyes went wide as he felt no cotton barrier between them, and she quickly impaled herself along his full length. One hand fisted in her hair, the other wrapping around her back as he thrust into her, a strangled moan sounding in his throat.

It was fast, rough, so much like the other night she had to fight the memories out of her mind. She felt her climax building as his eyes screwed shut, and she leaned in to his ear. "Harder." He complied, pounding up into her as she began to crest. Her cry of pleasure mixed with his growl as they both tipped over the edge, and as they came down they both struggled to breath.

She leant her forehead against his just as the click sounded. His eyes went wide as the handcuff closed over his wrist, and she deftly clipped the other one to his head board, jumping off with a smile. He glared. "What are you doing?"

She smirked. "Making you sure can't run away. Wait here." She laughed at her joke and bolted down the hall as his angry yell followed her. She was back within a few minutes, but his icy blue eyes were filled with anger as he struggled with the cuff.

She stood to one side. The outfit was gone. She was dressed in her grey sweatpants and a black hoodie. She'd taken off her heavy make-up, the perfect curls were now in a messy bun, and she knelt by the bed.

He was watching her carefully as she spoke. "See, the thing is, I think I went about this the wrong way. Call it a poorly executed experiment." He opened his mouth but she cut him off, straddling him and leaning forward. "The outfits, the alcohol, the bar, that's not really me. It sometimes is fun to do that stuff, but it's not who I really am. At least, not who I want to be anymore. The guys that sort of stuff attracts, they're after the sex bomb, the material girl."

She gestured to her sloppy outfit. "This is me. That other girl, she's still a part of me, but I don't want her to be all of me anymore. See, I kinda don't want the guy who just likes the outfits, the flirting. I kinda like the idea of having someone who will look after me when I'm sick, who doesn't mind looking at me when I'm like this."

The angry glare had left his eyes as she spoke. "I steal food off other peoples plates. And I'm messy. I'm insecure and I take forever to get ready. I'm always late. And I don't have a degree or prospects right now, but I'm looking to change that. Nobody has ever expected more from me then looking pretty, until you. You make me think there's more that I could be, in fact you kinda demand it. You're obnoxious and arrogant and bossy and neurotic…and I'm in love with you. I can't help it, and truth be told I don't want to.

Because at the end of the day, I love all those things about you. They're what makes you, you. And if you think maybe you could find a way to overlook that long list of flaws, if you think there's a chance that what makes me, me is good enough for you, then I need to know."

She was nervous as she unlocked his cuff. He didn't shake her off and bolt, just rubbed his wrist and looked at her cautiously. She sighed. "I'm literally putting my cards on the table Sheldon – I'm looking for a long term shift in our friendship paradigm, one that is beneficial to both parties and includes a commitment and exclusivity component. All your late night wanderings, the hook ups, they're what makes you human. Maybe you need something more then empty encounters with random women. You need someone to sing soft kitty, to tell you everything is going to be ok, to keep you grounded when that big brain starts to take over your life. And if you don't mind looking at me when I'm dressed like this, then maybe I could be what you're looking for too."

He sat up, slowly placing a hand around her back. "Penny, your aesthetics have never appeared more pleasing than they do at this point in the timeline." She raised her eyebrows in confusion, and he sighed. "You have never, ever looked more beautiful to me then you do right now."

Her eyes filled with tears as he smiled at her, and she leaned forward to kiss him just as he spoke again.

"Also, you meant figuratively laying your cards on the table, not literally."

She punched him in the arm as he laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

**TITLE: **The Libido Revelation

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

**A/N: **Last chapter in this fic. Once again your response has been wonderful – you've been so generous with your reviews, thank you so much for taking the time to read this little story. Huzzah!

* * *

Good Lord how he hated teaching undergraduates. It didn't help that they were staring at him gormlessly. One girl even had the nerve to wink at him. Women were strange. He adjusted the sleeves on his blue dress shirt. Penny insisted that when he was teaching he should look as professional as possible – he'd gone to argue but she'd cited section 23, sub-section A of their relationship contract. Right to veto outfit changes. He sighed mentally. He should have known no good would come of her attending community college – she'd maneuvered her diploma in legal practice management into a law degree.

Writing contracts was now hellish.

He smiled to himself as he wrote the equation on the board. She may have been only semi-serious when she'd first told him about going back to school, but the transformation had been fascinating. She had taken legal practice management when she'd gotten a job as a receptionist in a firm. Once she realized how much she enjoyed law (and he had refrained from mentioning that arguing and reciting were two of her talents), she had applied herself diligently. She may not have been uncovering the mysteries of the universe but she most definitely enjoyed being able to beat him at something.

She'd hidden her law books so he couldn't memorize them.

A worthy opponent indeed.

The door to the lecture theatre cracked open and he stopped dead. "Missy, Mom? What're you doing here?" His mother gave him a smile. "It's time Shelly."

He felt his breath leave his lungs. "Now? It's time now!" His mother nodded as his sister grinned at him. "Come on Shelly, don't keep her waitin'."

He turned to the mass of students watching the exchange with more energy then they'd displayed in the last hour. He cleared his throat. "Class is cut short. I have to leave – my wife is having a baby."

He wasn't entirely sure why he'd felt the need to tell them what was going on, but the warm feeling in his chest suggested it might be pride. Not that he'd ever admit to something as banal as bragging. His mother and sister followed him out of the room just as a surprised voice sounded from the corner, his ears only just picking up a whisper.

"Holy crap, Dr Whack-a-Doodle is married?"

His smile grew as they headed for the car. They'd dated for four months before he'd asked her to marry him. When she said yes he'd let her sit in his spot. Of course, he'd been sitting there too. And neither was wearing clothes. Leonard had moved in with Stephanie. Sheldon had taken Penny on the kitchen island to celebrate, though he'd spent the next week disinfecting it. At the wedding he'd discovered something incredible – apparently the Sheldon of this reality danced with his new bride when she asked him to. He had wanted to see the large Hadron Collider for their honeymoon, she had wanted to go to Hawaii. So they did both.

She was still messy, he was still arrogant. She stole food off his plate, he lectured her on the dangers of sunbathing. They fought constantly and made up even more. She wore his shirts without asking, he rearranged her underwear drawer by day of the week. She bought him a Flash bedspread, he got her diploma framed. She forced him to come to bed when he'd spent three days working on a project, and then hadn't gotten mad when he'd fallen asleep during their goodnight kiss. He took her show shopping, and then didn't complain when she spent six hours dragging him through the mall.

They'd been married a year when they found out she was pregnant. When she'd told him he had spent the next three weeks constructing daily tests and evaluations to make sure she was alright. She'd drawn the line at the home made ultrasound.

When she got morning sickness he'd sung her soft kitty whilst sitting by the door the bathroom. When she'd started craving Thai food the boys had joked about Sheldon's form of procreation always being linked to Thai food. When her hormones had made her alternate between angry tantrums, tearful rants about how ugly she felt, and demands for more sex than a normal human male could safely give he had dealt with it. He found stocking up on cheap glasses, daily reminders of how beautiful she was, and a healthy supply of electrolyte rich beverages helped.

She made him oatmeal on oatmeal day. She got his food order right every time. She let him dictate where their furniture went. She drove him insane daily.

It was perfect.

TWENTY THREE HOURS LATER

She was fast asleep. Not unexpected, given the feat she'd just accomplished. She'd refused to allow him to watch the birth on pain of death, making him stay at her head no matter how he lectured her on natural biological functions. Stephanie looked exhausted but pleased as she handed him his son. He wouldn't allow another doctor near Penny or the baby, much to the consternation (and later, relief) of the hospital staff.

Stephanie had remarked that she'd never had a patient provide their own sterilizing equipment before.

He walked towards the waiting room where his friends and family were sitting. He paused just outside the doorway, taking a moment to really look at the tiny person in his arms. Green eyes blinked shyly up at him, dark hair tufted in little spikes on his head, and the strange feeling in Sheldon's chest he had always related to Penny grew tenfold as he looked down at his child.

He kept his voice very quiet as he leant down, pressing a kiss on his son's head. "I hope for your sake you are more of a _Homo novus_ than myself." He glanced back at the sleeping woman who had given him his child. Her sweat dampened hair was plastered to her face and she was clutching the pillow to herself. In their bed she was a complete blanket hog, stealing the covers and using him as a pillow rather than the ones provided.

He smiled to himself, looking back at his son. "Then again, I suppose it could be worse." He grinned as he entered the waiting room to present William Sheldor Cooper to his circle of friends.

He knew he should have waited til the morphine wore off before allowing Penny to fill in the naming certificate.

**The End**

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **Told ya there'd be a happy ending :) hope you all enjoyed it, I've had a blast writing this story and you've all been wonderful.

Until next time Geekazoids,

The Frisky Firelily


End file.
